Pamphlets

I have been a Catholic my entire life and until the last two election cycles, have never received voter information.  I find it a bit disturbing that I have a hierarchy who thinks it's acceptable to tell me what to vote for and what to lobby against.

Over the last couple of weeks, there have been pamphlets in the pews from the Colorado Catholic Conference stating that I need to "Protect Traditional Marriage".  I am to vote no on Civil Union Legislation.  And if I fail to vote in this way I am somehow failing to protect women and children.

I fail to see how civil union legislation passing endangers women and children.  I'd love for someone to explain this to me.  These people of the Colorado Catholic Conference had better come up with a more compelling reason for me to vote or not vote for something than silly scare tactics.


Don't get me wrong, I support my church's stand on most issues and follow all the doctrinal issues with fidelity.  But telling me what to vote for and not to vote for is not one of those things that they have jurisdiction over.

I am a citizen of the United States.  And as a citizen of this country I am guaranteed the right to vote as I see fit.  As long as I cultivate a good conscience and vote using that conscience, the church has no right to tell me how to vote. 

Of all the ills plaguing society and all the issues that work against women and children, civil unions is at the bottom of this list.  When am I going to start seeing pamphlets addressing poverty and domestic violence lining the pews of my church?

Sunday morning you look just fine

Temper flairs and internet set up to the television apparently go hand in hand...for me anyway. This morning the husband and I tried to set up our new Blockbuster Movie Pass to our tv. The impatient side of me comes out. I should always do the physical side of things as I get so frustrated while trying to get the husband-type person to do the things that seem so easy to me, yet so perplexing for him. I am thinking that the problem is with my direction and not his reception. hmm, food for thought, food for thought.

Going to mass...

I'm going through a spiritual dry spot. I know that I need to attend mass this morning, but with this new job I'm finding myself becoming very possessive of my personal time.

Another consideration could be that my pastor is out of the country, visiting his home country of Nigeria and I am really missing his homilies.

Our fill-in priest is perfectly acceptable. In fact, he's the former pastor. I have just become accustomed to MY pastor and his style. Not to mention, I will have to reteach my ears in how to understand Father Kazito's accent when he returns.

Sin

On a forum where I post, the question of sin has come up.  What is sin?  Is sin not sin if you don't believe it?

 My perspective is as a Catholic.  As a fairly well informed Catholic. 

I do not believe sin to be subjective or ever changing depending on the circumstance.  Sin is sin.  If you steal you steal.  If you fool around on your husband you fooled around on your husband.  What I do think changes is the level at which we will be judged for those sins.

The mom who steals because her children are hungry, has stolen, there is no disputing that fact.  The person who screwed around on their spouse, has broken his/her sacramental vows.  No doubt.  The sin is still a sin.  It is there, it never changes.  There is no degrees to the sin.  It just is.  It just exists.

What does change in this scenario at the end of our early existence, I believe, is God's mercy.  God alone sees the big picture attached to our sin.  The sin is stealing, but He sees the intent and the motivation behind the scenes.  Is this a single mom stealing to feed her kids, is it an angry young man taking stereos from cars to sell for partying because he has no direction in life, through a lifetime of neglect and abuse.  Only God will know this. 

I think we are going to be judged on the level of our understanding and experience.  At least I have great hope that God is going to take that track.  If he loves us individually, each of us, since before we were born, I cannot imagine that that great mercy and love isn't going to extend to the end of our lives too...

I'm counting on it  

One Day at a Time

No, I'm not an alcoholic, just a middle aged woman trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm a middle aged woman! This working full time after 14 years of part time work is a little difficult. I've survived one month with my new position and while it is getting easier to navigate the job...Waking up at 3:30 Tues through Sat is not so easy. I think about writing in here everyday, but I just don't seem to get to it. I will do better though, as I have so much to say

What I really want to do...

What I really want to do is bake, but real life and real world situations are keeping me from it. This is my calling, and the frustration of not being able to make that a reality is very disheartening. I don't mind working at a job that I don't particularly want for a while, I understand that I need to be flexible in this life. But as a middle aged woman, I need to know when it's going to be my turn? Now, this appears to be turning into a whiny bitch session, and I didn't mean for it to be that. I'll be back later today, after work, when I am facing 2 days off. If anyone reads this, have a great day! And I mean that sincerely!

A New Chapter

It's been a while since I've written on this blog. Most of the people following it probably won't even remember who I am.

I think I need this back in my life to help me work through this transition though.

After almost 14 years of sporadic part time employment, I have re-entered the full time workforce. Dan, my husband quit a position that moved us closer to Denver and I have found myself in need of full time employment.

I have begun a career as an "Executive Resolutions" team member at a provider of satellite television. Yes, I am a glorified customer service agent!

I took this position in early December and am now out of my first phase of training. I'm not sure whether this is the career path that I will remain on, but for now it's rather interesting. And it's a pretty good gig, the biggest down-side being that during this training phase I am tethered to a telephone for 8 hours a day.

After years of laid back positions, it's been a little difficult adjusting to a more restrictive, tabs kept on me, environment. We'll have to wait and see how it goes. But for now, it's where I am and I need to make the best of the situation.

I have met some wonderful people on this journey, both men and women, who are turning out to be a sort of extended family for me. Everything from former military to newly separated, to pregnant with first child, to furloughed airline attendant, to single mom and divorced men to me...former stay at home mom with aspirations of owning her own bakery.

So, come along with me on this journey...you never know what's going to happen next in this girl's life.

On the road...

It was a warm May day that we left Grand Junction on. I quietly cried for a good portion of the drive through Rifle. I had quit my job, pulled Darcy out of gymnastics and left my friends. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

We got to Rocky Mountain National Park in the evening. We drove through Moraine Park and up the road to our house, it was chilly and damp. I don't remember much about unpacking but I do remember going down the hill behind our house to the road below to look around and the first thing I saw was a very large coyote (or it seemed to me) on the road below us. It scared me, something that I got over quickly because of the sheer volume of coyotes I saw in the park this summer.

The next day Dan had to go to work. We woke up to the house sitting at 54 degrees and 2 small space heaters were not going to change that much. I drove Dan to work, then came home and attempted to keep the kids busy. It was the tail-end of winter in RMNP and it snowed all day, wet, end of cold season snow.

The kids ventured outside in the afternoon and started exploring their yard (ever mindful of the coyote they saw the day before). We had 10 long hours to fill as Dan was working as a Volunteer coordinator with the National Park Service for 4 ten hour days a week. And believe me when I tell you that 10 hours is a long time to fill given that we had no television or computer. The adjustment was a long and painful one those first few weeks.

Rocky Mountain Days...

I wish I were a great writer, a conveyor of what I see and think.

Ever since we left Estes Park for home I've had ideas for a blog. A blog that would be life altering and put some perspective on my experiences living in Rocky Mountain National Park for summer. For it was a multi-sided experience. Sheer frustration, great joy, loneliness, awe inspiring beauty, pride in my children and husband, a new appreciation for nature and the majesty of the mountains of Colorado. I cannot do justice to,with my limited writing ability, the experiences I've had this summer. Though I will try.

My ideas are clear, I just wish I could put them down on these pages so that you would understand how this experience has changed me.

I will give it my best shot.

More CSAP Garbage

Well, I've now taken to carrying a tape recorder with me when I pick my son up from school.

Last week my son was very ill and out of school the entire week. We took him to the ER Sunday and he was diagnosed with Bronchitis and sent home on a nebulizer and codeine cough medicine. Monday morning I received a phone call from the ER doctor and was told Ben had strep. So antibiotics were ordered and I called the school to makeup work ready to be picked up.

I was put on hold by the school secretary and suddenly the principal was on the line. Asking me how Ben was and how much he was missed (I started at that point to get suspicious as she's never inquired as to his illnesses that kept him from school before). She then immediately went into another spiel telling me why Ben should take the CSAP (that was coincidentally going on while Ben was sick) It was just a regurgitation of everything covered in the meeting the week before. I said "I'll talk to my husband about it" and hung up.

Later that day as I was picking up Ben's work from his classroom teacher, the teacher accosted me too. Only her approach was much worse. She stated that Ben not taking the test is going to jeopardize the rest of the field trips for the year and the class's participation in an upcoming play. I asked why? She stated that it had to do with percentages of kids taking the test. All I said in response was "Well, maybe the school or class needs to come up with different criteria for participation, especially since the test results don't come back until next year. Then she patted me on the back and said "Well dear, it's your decision".

This conversation took place in front of my son's entire class.

Ben will not be taking the makeup CSAP and I will now begin recording each and every conversation the principal and the teacher has with me.